A child is a gift.

Unmerited, undeserved, pure gift.

When I was a little girl and told Santa what I wanted for Christmas, there was a decent chance I’d get it. But it sure as heck wasn’t a guarantee. A gift is determined solely by the giver and not the recipient. A gift is a thing given willingly without payment.

I hear a lot of buzz about how infertile couples deserve to have children. Trust me on this: Dan and I don’t really deserve anything. We are owed nothing by God. Anything He chooses to give us is ALL gift.

God gives me the gift of health, family, a roof over my head, food on the table, my vocation as wife, my ministry of occupational therapy, and even fruits of His Holy Spirit. I often take the gifts God gives me for granted.

Even the Church acknowledges: “Children are the supreme gift of marriage” (CCC 1652). They are precious in God’s eyes and a reflection of His own image. While I would love for God to give us a child, it’s not ours for the choosing.

It is only through my slow learning of the meaning of a gift which has allowed me to grow in rightly giving Him thanks and praise for all He lavishes on me every minute of every day.

Spiritual motherhood is under-rated.

Who says motherhood is bound by fertility, biology, or the number of children in a woman’s home?

Becoming a godmother has been one of the greatest honors! Taking part in the baptisms was only the start. It is humbling to live it out, to take seriously the vow to be a model, guide, and witness to the faith for these precious souls. If I’m being honest, it’s a tall order and requires graces from God!

My experience of infertility and recognizing the many dark powers at work in this world has pressed upon me the urgent need not only for my godmotherhood, but also my spiritual motherhood.

John Paul II wrote: “The moral and spiritual strength of a woman is joined to her awareness that God entrusts the human being to her in a special way.“

The best mothers I know are the women who delicately yet boldly lead others to God. They listen, comfort, pray, are present, and sometimes gently rebuke others.

It’s the spiritual motherhood to which God ultimately calls all women. Unbounded in the physical sense, it is eternal, stems from the heart, and is of utmost beauty, dignity, and love.